Sometimes... I Forget Who I Am

I frequently live in states of clarity, joy and fullness. I appreciate the connection I have with myself and whatever the higher power is that allows this. A few deep breaths is often all it takes now to drop into feeling nice and cosy.

Sometimes though, I forget who I am. I lose my connection, my power, and start believing the stories that run through my mind. Strong desires turn into short-term stress and future deadlines kill me in the present moment. The incredible complexity of switching between two perspectives, expressed through split personalities; my mind's chaotic whirlwind of criticism and judgement, in conversation with the thoughts of my inner being, peaceful in it's knowing that all is actually perfect. I sit back and listen to the voices, sometimes sounding like "Be compassionate with yourself, you mean mutha fucka!"

This goes on and on, and probably always will. However, when you've been doing the work, there may come a point where the baseline of your entire being shifts. You've practiced peace, acceptance and contentment consistently and frequently enough that it becomes your natural state (again). Peace is then your foundation, your home. Your inner world is paradise. It's beautiful. It's also easier to remember who you are, when you've forgotten.

I could stay there, in the stillness, but I view life like a seesaw on a playground. When you get on with the other person, the seesaw is flat and still, which is a great starting place. The fun is in the movement though, as you continuously go up and down. In fact, that's the whole point of the ride, isn't it? So I'll go on, being connected and disconnected, moving up and down... it never ends. Connection, clarity and joy are not permanent, nor are they meant to be. Let's ride through it all, embrace the contrast and have a fucking great time being human.